QEW Watching

This afternoon Mar & I sat along the QEW & waited for the hearse carrying Cpl. Tyler Crooks home to Port Colborne pass by.

This was the first time we had done this - probably because of the Port Colborne connection - but not the last.

I was impressed by how many people took the time to stand on the overpasses and line the service road to pay their respects.

We were in a parking lot at the end of Dewitt Road, waiting with:

• a family of 4 with 2 young kids
• a Mom with her dog and 2 teens
• a couple in their late 60's

As we waited the kids played with the dog, Mar & I chatted a bit with the teens' mom while the seniors & the teenagers stayed in their cars.

As the hearse approached everyone grew quiet & just watched it roll by.

I was very impressed that the teens left their SUV and stood beside their Mom as the hearse drove by.

Afterward we all quietly went back to our cars and left but for that short period of time we drew together as Canadians and paid our respects to a fallen soldier.

Today I was proud to be a Canadian.

Green Grass

I work in Mississauga (just off Winston Churchill & the QEW) & drive every second day - the other days my carpool buddy Joe drives.

We both use the QEW to get to work but on my driving days we always come home on Lake shore Drive - we get home at the same time, its so much less stressful & you get to admire how the other half lives.
Some of those houses are amazing!!

I noticed last week that one of those amazing houses has the greenest grass imaginable. It just sticks out out from all the neighbouring lawns mocking them for their brown lifeless colour.

Earlier this week we slowed & took a good look at the lawn & realized its a carpet !!

Seems like cheating somehow.

I think if you are going to go AstroTurf you should have to cover it up this time of year until all the real grass lawns have a chance to get at least a little green.

I am though, wondering how much it would cost to carpet my little patch of front lawn.

The Sound Guy Neck Crane

This is copied from Stuff Christians Like.
But I laughed when I read it - having experienced it from both directions - and just had to share it.

The Sound Guy Neck Crane

Microphones hate God.

I can’t prove this scientifically, but I’m pretty sure it’s true.

I think it’s because God doesn’t need them. When He speaks in the Bible, His voice is loud and carries naturally, or He uses angels and donkeys and burning bushes to amplify His message. So I imagine that microphones feel slighted and decided long ago to wage a very public hate campaign against the Alpha and Omega.

How else can you explain the shenanigans that occur on Sunday morning with the sound system? From microphones that work perfectly during sound check and then refuse to work during the service to that loud ear-bursting feedback that blossoms during the most inappropriate times, like prayer, sound systems are always punking church.

And when they do, it’s so easy to pull out a “sound guy neck crane".

The sound guy neck crane is the first thing we all do when the sound goes bananas in the middle of church.

It’s a simple move, but I’ll walk you through the steps:

Step 1: Sound messes up.

Step 2: You quickly try to remember where the sound guy is stationed in the sanctuary.

Step 3: You crane your neck to his position and stare at him with eyes that say, “Do you not
hear this? That microphone is on fire! Why do you want church to suck? Do you hate
Jesus? That’s it, isn’t it? You hate Jesus. You sweaty Philistine.”

Step 4: Sound is restored. You turn back around and silently thank yourself for contributing to
the rectification of the problem by pointing it out with your sound guy neck crane.

I’m just as guilty of this as anyone else. The only problem is that at the megachurch I attend, a staff of 29 people runs the sound on a Sunday morning, so my head has to bounce around like I’m watching a tennis match if I want to bust out a sound guy neck crane.
“I see you in the balcony.
You down at the sound booth.
You up on the corner of the stage, I’m seeing you too, and I’m not happy.”
Bounce, bounce, bounce, crane, crane, crane.

That’s part of the reason I’m going to retire my sound guy neck crane. It’s just too much work at my church.

It’s also kind of a jerk thing to do. And by “kind of” I mean “really,” and by “jerk” I mean “words I can’t type without crazy *&# symbols.”

From now on, when the sound messes up, I’m going to just side hug the person next to me and whisper politely, “Microphones hate God.” It will be awkward the first 2, 3, or 400 times, but people usually like side hugs, and it will put the blame where it belongs: on God-hatin’ sound equipment.